Dear Makers of Tide:

I'm writing to tell you what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, ever since my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with some his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out .
After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of your new liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well, that when the detectives came by yesterday, they told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative, and then my attorney called and said that I would
no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief.
I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Glad Hefty bag people...
Signed,
A relieved menopausal wife .